There are times in your life where you begin to understand the type of person you are and that's how it's been for all of 2009. I've understood that I do not partake in confrontation despite my hard edge and sometimes in-your-face attitude. I can be a dominant person, but if someone else strolls through with the same personality I cower.
O.K. enough with the beating up myself part, let's uplift Wilder (and yourself). I am pretty damn resourceful and more than willing to take care of myself and my business. I'm also attentive and aware of my situation so I don't let anything fly under the radar.
Having these good qualities can be stressful because I know when it's time to move on. Real life is a constant motion (if you want it this way) and you always have to have a plan. I don't mean career. I mean how are you going to get to work, how much are those snow boots going to cost, and can you break a rule even though you're an adult (oops).
I'm only 23, but I've been told I'm mature for my age. I have a hard time believing that considering my life experience because I have yet to pay a month's rent or really balance a check book ~gasp~
The whole point of tonight's post is this no matter what you're situation is keep working towards something better, it will come. There's plenty of discomfort so find a place to rest your head or someone who makes the sun shine brighter.
12.16.2009
12.11.2009
Dear Friend,
So, I just got off the phone with one of my dear friends who is struggling in the job department. I know what you're thinking, 'well, aren't we all?' Yes, but this lady has been struggling for the past 3 years since she was handed her degree. Today she said, "I quit."
I think my heart sunk when I heard her say that. Actually, I know it did. I don't know what to say her. It's hard to see such a resilient person defeated. Can't say what sucks more it's either not being able to give any sound advice or not knowing what to do for my-damn-self.
Friend, we have to click the refresh button on our life browser because what we're doing isn't working. It's great to have dreams (sometimes they explode), but sometimes we have to tweek them. Do what you have to do (a 180), which is something out of your usual pattern to get stability. Sure, I still give my keep hope alive speech for the journalism industry, but I have to keep it real. I can have a career that pays and continue with my column and blog.
It's time that you and I step outside of our artistic selves and make a living.
Question: What do you do with creative people (like myself and my friend)?
Answer: You tell them to get a real job.
So Wilder in Real Life and friend have to get "real" jobs. Stay Tuned.
Sincerely,
WRL
I think my heart sunk when I heard her say that. Actually, I know it did. I don't know what to say her. It's hard to see such a resilient person defeated. Can't say what sucks more it's either not being able to give any sound advice or not knowing what to do for my-damn-self.
Friend, we have to click the refresh button on our life browser because what we're doing isn't working. It's great to have dreams (sometimes they explode), but sometimes we have to tweek them. Do what you have to do (a 180), which is something out of your usual pattern to get stability. Sure, I still give my keep hope alive speech for the journalism industry, but I have to keep it real. I can have a career that pays and continue with my column and blog.
It's time that you and I step outside of our artistic selves and make a living.
Question: What do you do with creative people (like myself and my friend)?
Answer: You tell them to get a real job.
So Wilder in Real Life and friend have to get "real" jobs. Stay Tuned.
Sincerely,
WRL
12.09.2009
The First Snow
It's been about a couple of days since it started snowing here in Chicago. No, it's not anything serious just flurries and the sticky mix of rain. As I look outside the white sheet resembles powder instead of ice. Back at home it snows, melts, freezes, melts, and it's no more.
Today I battled a tame Chicago wind to the Metra with the help of a coworker. I was equipped with my calf length down coat, snow boats, and obnoxious yet warm scarf. I made it back home in one piece, but I have to say this commute is going to be a beast this winter.
Now, that I'm all warm and comfy in my pjs, I look outside and appreciate how beautiful winter can be. I've never had a white Christmas and I guess this will be another one since I'll be flying home. I remember asking Santa for snow as a kid and I never got it. Well I'm in Chicago and have all the snow I could ever want.
Damn Miami sounds good right about now. Meanwhile I'm going to stick a beer in the snow.
12.08.2009
Yes, it's because you're *insert nationality, ethnicity, religion, etc.*
This blog post will be about race, one of the most controversial topics to discuss in any American social setting. I thought I was comfortable with discussing this, but I found out today that I'm not.
I was in the lunchroom this morning at work prepping my bagel and one of my coworkers, we'll call him Joe, walks in and asks me how do I like the snow. I'll tell you right now that I'm from North Carolina and we have flurries and the whole place will shut down, but not in Chicago (business as usual). So, I told him I don't like the snow. Sure, it's pretty from the inside of your house but actually walking in it to get to work, eh not cool. Joe responds, "What is that a black thing?"
Car crash, train wreck, record screeching.
Yes, that's what he said. I pretended that I heard him wrong and just said "No, I do not like the snow. I'm Southern we don't know what to do with snow." He proceeds to add fuel to the fire "Well my black friends don't like snow." And I said, "It's a Southern thing."
That put a serious damper on my morning. Mainly because I was caught off guard, singled out, and didn't expect someone to have the audacity to say some bullshit like that, to my face. Now, I'm not sure who's reading my posts. I will say this if you've never been a minority I want you for a second to think of a time when you were the only one that looked like you in a room. Got it? Now, think about it if your life was like that every day what you see on t.v., your coworkers, and strangers on the street.
Do you still feel the same? If the answer is yes, then I'm not surprised because chances are you'll never know. I don't like to be put on display, be the token or caricature. Imagine any time you get put in a setting where you stand out people want to ask you questions like you're from a different planet. For a minute you might feel special and may continue to like it, but then there's that one moment where you'll feel alone. Then all you want to do is crawl in a hole to hide.
Still drawing a blank?
Bitch, I'm human and I have feelings too.
I was in the lunchroom this morning at work prepping my bagel and one of my coworkers, we'll call him Joe, walks in and asks me how do I like the snow. I'll tell you right now that I'm from North Carolina and we have flurries and the whole place will shut down, but not in Chicago (business as usual). So, I told him I don't like the snow. Sure, it's pretty from the inside of your house but actually walking in it to get to work, eh not cool. Joe responds, "What is that a black thing?"
Car crash, train wreck, record screeching.
Yes, that's what he said. I pretended that I heard him wrong and just said "No, I do not like the snow. I'm Southern we don't know what to do with snow." He proceeds to add fuel to the fire "Well my black friends don't like snow." And I said, "It's a Southern thing."
That put a serious damper on my morning. Mainly because I was caught off guard, singled out, and didn't expect someone to have the audacity to say some bullshit like that, to my face. Now, I'm not sure who's reading my posts. I will say this if you've never been a minority I want you for a second to think of a time when you were the only one that looked like you in a room. Got it? Now, think about it if your life was like that every day what you see on t.v., your coworkers, and strangers on the street.
Do you still feel the same? If the answer is yes, then I'm not surprised because chances are you'll never know. I don't like to be put on display, be the token or caricature. Imagine any time you get put in a setting where you stand out people want to ask you questions like you're from a different planet. For a minute you might feel special and may continue to like it, but then there's that one moment where you'll feel alone. Then all you want to do is crawl in a hole to hide.
Still drawing a blank?
Bitch, I'm human and I have feelings too.
12.07.2009
Fill in the Void
If you're working a part-time job when you should be working 40 hours a week then you can do this. Right now you might be feeling pretty miserable because you don't have any money or feel useless because your job isn't what you want. Get up and find a volunteer opportunity, it's a great resume builder, adds character, and you meet great people.
It sucks when you're wasting away to "One Life to Live" and fully conscious of it. Eventually it will eat you alive because you are capable of doing something spectacular. I currently volunteer maybe once or twice a week depending on my energy level in order to keep myself sane. Yea, yea, I know I'm not making any money and it's free labor. Actually, I'm not doing anything that is strenous and I have the option of leaving. I like the people where I volunteer and I like the cause, HIV/AIDS.
Volunteering has allowed me to meet people in Chicago that I wouldn't on my daily trek to the CTA Red Line. It fills in time that I might be wasting away in front of the t.v. or in bed sulking feeling like the most insignificant person on the planet. You get the point.
Sure, I could be hunting down another part-time job, my mother made a good point two part-time jobs don't equal benefits. My quest and mission is to find a full-time job, but until then I'll be filling it in with directing phone calls and clients. Also, you'll see some great changes coming to my blog; I'll be adding a new feature which will be profiles of intriguing and inspiring individuals in Chicago. I'm working on my story lines and I think you'll enjoy. Even better, these stories will be videos :)
Now, go help save the world or do what you love for free.
12.06.2009
Happy New...oh I'm early
I think my new favorite holiday is New Year's because it brings hope. Every year I either write in a ratty marble notebook or have a conversation with God around midnight.
I was doing my job search I thought of the scene from Sex and the City The Movie as Carrie is rushing over to Miranda's. The most original version of "Auld Lang Syne" was playing and I thought to myself damn this holiday is either spent heaving over a toilet bowl or at home eating Chinese watching the ball drop. I thought of the words to the song and the feeling I get every time I hear it. A song of remembrance. The year isn't quite over yet, but I have a lot to reflect on and to hope for.
New Year's Eve reminds me that things can be new again, but not be forgotten.
"We twa hay pedilt in the burn,
fray mornin sun til dyn;
But seas between us bred hay roard
sin ald lang syn."
12.05.2009
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
I have to say I felt like I've vanished from the radar for the past couple of weeks maybe more. I'm adapting to change and doing MORE serious thinking (it never ends I swear). I tried to picture myself once again doing something other than being a story teller and an open book to my life, nothing seems to fit.
I spoke with a lady who I want to be my mentor and she said something that has stuck with me. "You're going to have to make your own way." Meaning, I will have to create my own opportunities. At first it was empowering that I have total control over where my career is going to go and then I got scared. Yes, I'm still scared. What if I slack off (guilty as charged)or even take the "easy" way out? But then I said to myself "Self, do you feel like you're growing at this very moment?" Myself said "No." Now, this means I have to constantly work towards what I want. I don't have anyone cracking the whip on me because I am an adult and I make my own decisions.
If I want to get anywhere in life I have to be more than willing to put the work in. I had an acquaintance back in college who used say "No days off." I used to call him crazy for pushing and going all the time. Now it makes sense you didn't get anywhere by taking days off. When I go to work, it's not even work, I do that so I can get around town and get my necessities. The real work comes in when I rest my screaming feet as I beat the keys trying to make my next move.
My previous post is actually about the same thing, but without references. I'm coming clean and being honest with myself. As much of a dreamer and a pusher I am, I do fall off the wagon. I slack off and forget what am I doing and why, but once you hit that hard ground you hop back on.
So, I have to make a promise to myself and to my readers. I, Wilder, promise to update my blog at least weekly because it is important to my well-being and career.
Have you fallen off the wagon today?
