Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

I have to say I felt like I've vanished from the radar for the past couple of weeks maybe more. I'm adapting to change and doing MORE serious thinking (it never ends I swear). I tried to picture myself once again doing something other than being a story teller and an open book to my life, nothing seems to fit.

I spoke with a lady who I want to be my mentor and she said something that has stuck with me. "You're going to have to make your own way." Meaning, I will have to create my own opportunities. At first it was empowering that I have total control over where my career is going to go and then I got scared. Yes, I'm still scared. What if I slack off (guilty as charged)or even take the "easy" way out? But then I said to myself "Self, do you feel like you're growing at this very moment?" Myself said "No." Now, this means I have to constantly work towards what I want. I don't have anyone cracking the whip on me because I am an adult and I make my own decisions.

If I want to get anywhere in life I have to be more than willing to put the work in. I had an acquaintance back in college who used say "No days off." I used to call him crazy for pushing and going all the time. Now it makes sense you didn't get anywhere by taking days off. When I go to work, it's not even work, I do that so I can get around town and get my necessities. The real work comes in when I rest my screaming feet as I beat the keys trying to make my next move.

My previous post is actually about the same thing, but without references. I'm coming clean and being honest with myself. As much of a dreamer and a pusher I am, I do fall off the wagon. I slack off and forget what am I doing and why, but once you hit that hard ground you hop back on.

So, I have to make a promise to myself and to my readers. I, Wilder, promise to update my blog at least weekly because it is important to my well-being and career.


Have you fallen off the wagon today?

Whatever it Takes...

I'm currently reading the book Outliers: A Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell thanks to a recommendation made by a blogger I follow. The book is about people who tend to excel academically, professionally, physically, etc. Gladwell gives the idea that these outliers are born into circumstances that allow them to thrive. Sure, a privileged background and encourage parents are advantages, but also the year an individual was born or even what was their ancestor's trade. He also points out something that I feel that I could perhaps be neglected, time. It is the time you put into a craft will determine how well you will succeed. So it takes 10,000 hours for one to be an expert in their field.



I have aspirations to be this great columnist and story teller. I obviously have the drive (ignore my sparse blog posts)because I do have a monthly column and I'm constantly reaching out for someone to guide me. It's whether I take the guidance that I'm constantly offered will determine whether I will be successful. Here's why, I was a teacher for a brief stint and was encouraged to pursue this career. These individuals believed I was good (potential to be great) at it and there is a need for not only qualified but talented teachers. If I thrived off of flattery I would have probably stuck around Eastern North Carolina and taught. The problem with me teaching was I didn't want it. But the real point I'm trying to make is this if I don't take heed to my "circumstances" and back out I could easily be conducting a parent-teacher conference.

If there is something you are dying to do and you're constantly in a "circumstance" to take advantage of it, do it. I haven't completed the book, but I'm starting to believe that everyone has a bit of outlier within them. In some way, shape, or form you can do anything you set your mind to. *Chris Langan, who was a contestant on the NBC game show 1 vs. 100, has an I.Q. of at least 195. His "circumstances" of unreliable transportation and scarce financial means withheld him from exercising his genius.


The book is definitely an eye opener and has given me a boost for work ethic. When I feel like I've done enough, then I should probably do more.
















*Langan was profiled in The Outliers.

Out of Nowhere

This move to Chicago is the biggest transition (right next to graduating) I've ever experienced. Now, don't get me wrong I think this guy is da bomb dot com. I just think it's funny how you're never ready for what life gives you. I could've been given a broken leg *knocks on wood* and figure out how I'm going to stand up at work all day. I was given someone who wants to spend time with me and I with him.




So, I have tripped right into a relationship at what seems like the most inconvenient time of my life.
I sat down and planned out (in my head) when would be the right time to be in a relationship. It went a little something like after I get a full-time job, moved out of my family's place, revamping my personal style (yea, petty I know), and a steady circle of friends. I also thought I needed time to figure out myself, but that's an ongoing process. I haven't been in a relationship in two years, maybe my self evaluation time has lapsed.

There's a newbie at work and she was telling me how much she wants a boyfriend. This reminds me of myself a few months ago. I was hung up on an ex and felt like poo because of the down time in my career. It seemed like I needed someone to make me happy. My uncle said it best "You need to do what makes Lauren happy and someone will come along." He said this after I started dating Mr. Wonderful and my very wise uncle is right. No way in hell would I find someone if I was still moping over the past. I can't be happy if I need someone else to do it. Yes, you can do bad all by yourself, thanks mom.

I wanted to date because I wanted a companion to navigate the city with me. There have been numerous occasions that I've gone places alone, which was fine but I thought damn it would be cool to share this with someone. I got more what I asked for and I am elated.

Another thing I've learned about dating is that you aren't suppose to go in expecting something. You'll get disappointed every time. Dating is suppose to be fun and informal, so go ahead and throw out that criteria list. Sure be open, but make sure your comfortable meaning don't go out with anyone you really have no interest in getting to know.

To my dear coworker find things that make you happy and everything will fall into place, just not perfectly.









If you ever want to make God (Allah, Jehovah, Shiva, Buddha, etc) laugh tell him your plan.