Throwing Salt on Your Own Wound

At the moment I'm walking around with an open wound, still fresh and bleeding, and I can't wait for it to clot. Sometimes you pick at it simply because it's there and perhaps the healing process is annoying with the itching, the reminders. Mine isn't itching, I'm staring at mine in shock that's there. Did this just happen to me? Has it only been a week? I'm handling things better than I thought until I get alone with my thoughts and I can only hear my heart beating.

Right now I just did something that could've caused an uncomfortable sensation for the wound, salt. I don't know why I did this. Nevermind, yes I do and it's called denial.

We go through things in life and sometimes we make ourselves hurt worse than needed. Perhaps it's the healing process and we sometimes through ourselves into it so that it can be over quicker. I know this really doesn't make any sense. Life changes too rapidly for us to dwell on wounds, put a bandage on it and be careful with it. If you don't we'll get fixated by it giving the opportunity for something else to occur that isn't favorable. We focus on that and it's a cycle.

Personal Legend

If you recognize these words then you've probably read The Alchemist, a friend loaned me the book because I could use the message of the book. She was right. I tried reading the book a few months ago and I was half interested. I thought to myself o.k. we got this young sheperd roaming different lands with his flock, I'm not in the mood *closes book*. I usually love my page turners with some crazy romance, suspense thriller, or some intricate witty novel, but this one I'm taking my time with. I'm only on pg. 40 and I don't want the book to end. I have to say this is reminiscent of the Job and right now I'm started to feel like him.

Last week I was hit with a tough issue and a hard lesson learned. As the issue escalated it seemed like things were falling apart all around me. Now that I think about it, everything wasn't falling apart just back into place. I'll admit I lost track of what is important to me. Notice I haven't blogged in several weeks and it wasn't because I landed the job of my dreams. In the aftermath I wasn't feeling well and I stayed at home for a few days, something I haven't done since I've been in Chicago. After these days of rest I got up to face the world. It was scary because everything seemed so different. Everyday has it's purpose and it's your job to find out what it is and never see it as a day wasted.

But back to the Personal Legend, since I've neglected my reason for being (writing) I felt my life becoming this blackhole and life wasn't making sense anymore. Yes, people it was that serious. I am a writer my dear readers and in order for me to make a living off of my craft, I'll have to pour my heart out and create for my soul and you. If you haven't found out what you're suppose to seek in your life, be proactive and look, because if you don't you're merely existing. So for those who haven't read The Alchemist, at some point you need to. The first 40 pages reaffirmed the power of writing.

The Bad Decade

I want to apologize to my readers for taking my week off, but I needed it. You would think that because writing is my outlet that I would've came up with 10 new posts. I had to click the "refresh" button on the Wilder browser. I feel better and focused sometimes all you need to do is get away, just for a minute.

Back to the regularly scheduled program.

Today, I was at work conversing with a spunky older lady who comes into my store all the time and she said something that I've been hearing over the past week, 'This was a bad decade.'

Now, I'm only 23 so I haven't really experienced what it means to have a bad decade or year for that matter. Ms. Spunky wasn't refering to her life because many people don't break down their life into bad years or decades. Maybe it's just how life is, it gets rough and you recover. She was refering to the world, "I think people wanted to stay inside this year and be with loved ones." I usually ignore the world when it comes to my NYE reflection, but today I said to myself 'Wow, things didn't really start off promising in the new millenium.

I recall ringing in 2000 in my bed ready to pull the covers over my head because everyone said the world was going to end, computers would explode, or all major cities would just shut down. Well, nothing happened but as the years started rolling by a lot of unfortunate things were happening left and right. Today I think I'll initiate a new tradition and save NYD for pumping all the good energy I can for the world. I haven't gotten the logistics of it down, but I'm pretty sure you'll hear about it in 2011.

This will be my first really significant decade, the first one of my adult life and my hope is that there will be room for hope.