On Love

Well Valentine's Day is this weekend and it's only appropriate that I address this day of foolishness, well not directly. This holiday is an annual memorandum for women who suffer from "bitter single life", a do or die for significant others to fill the day with the pink and red madness, and a bullshit way for retail to get a little biz in it's down period (I'm just saying). It's the love holiday of the romantic persuasion.

BUT REALLY...

I've had some time to assess what love is and what it's been made out to be. Pull up a chair and get your notebook.

I read a fellow blogger's post, maddecentmaf.blogspot.com, about his take on it. This wasn't necessarily a male's perspective because I wasn't seeking one. I sought a completely honest and pure answer of what it is and means. He said it plain and simple, love is the same way you feel and care about yourself for another person. Let's leave out what we've seen in romantic comedies and Disney movies. When we peel away all of the subcategories we find the same thing.

I found myself looking for love. How can I look for something I already have? I blame the brainwashing, the romanticized part of it. It's put out in radiowaves that we're suppose to find that one person who encompasses this special kind of love that we should want and need. Now don't get me wrong having a companion is wonderful, but if we seek love how can we see and appreciate what we already have.

If we're meant to have a companion for the rest of our lives then it will be. We can't think for a second that we can not function without this all encompassing love because we can. We do it now and tomorrow. As long as we have friends and family, then we're never without love.

Throwing Salt on Your Own Wound

At the moment I'm walking around with an open wound, still fresh and bleeding, and I can't wait for it to clot. Sometimes you pick at it simply because it's there and perhaps the healing process is annoying with the itching, the reminders. Mine isn't itching, I'm staring at mine in shock that's there. Did this just happen to me? Has it only been a week? I'm handling things better than I thought until I get alone with my thoughts and I can only hear my heart beating.

Right now I just did something that could've caused an uncomfortable sensation for the wound, salt. I don't know why I did this. Nevermind, yes I do and it's called denial.

We go through things in life and sometimes we make ourselves hurt worse than needed. Perhaps it's the healing process and we sometimes through ourselves into it so that it can be over quicker. I know this really doesn't make any sense. Life changes too rapidly for us to dwell on wounds, put a bandage on it and be careful with it. If you don't we'll get fixated by it giving the opportunity for something else to occur that isn't favorable. We focus on that and it's a cycle.

Personal Legend

If you recognize these words then you've probably read The Alchemist, a friend loaned me the book because I could use the message of the book. She was right. I tried reading the book a few months ago and I was half interested. I thought to myself o.k. we got this young sheperd roaming different lands with his flock, I'm not in the mood *closes book*. I usually love my page turners with some crazy romance, suspense thriller, or some intricate witty novel, but this one I'm taking my time with. I'm only on pg. 40 and I don't want the book to end. I have to say this is reminiscent of the Job and right now I'm started to feel like him.

Last week I was hit with a tough issue and a hard lesson learned. As the issue escalated it seemed like things were falling apart all around me. Now that I think about it, everything wasn't falling apart just back into place. I'll admit I lost track of what is important to me. Notice I haven't blogged in several weeks and it wasn't because I landed the job of my dreams. In the aftermath I wasn't feeling well and I stayed at home for a few days, something I haven't done since I've been in Chicago. After these days of rest I got up to face the world. It was scary because everything seemed so different. Everyday has it's purpose and it's your job to find out what it is and never see it as a day wasted.

But back to the Personal Legend, since I've neglected my reason for being (writing) I felt my life becoming this blackhole and life wasn't making sense anymore. Yes, people it was that serious. I am a writer my dear readers and in order for me to make a living off of my craft, I'll have to pour my heart out and create for my soul and you. If you haven't found out what you're suppose to seek in your life, be proactive and look, because if you don't you're merely existing. So for those who haven't read The Alchemist, at some point you need to. The first 40 pages reaffirmed the power of writing.