Here I am in HWLC (Harold Washington Library Center) awaiting a phone call that could change my path, but isn't everything in life like that. Anyway so I'm suppose to hear back from a writing internship I interviewed for on Tuesday. Of course I'm playing ping pong in my head and jumping every time my phone goes off. I really hope I get it. If I don't I crawl in a hole and cry, well maybe not. I'm suppose to be job hunting right now you know the drill "don't all your eggs in one basket."
All I can do is wait and hope that the universe will send me this. Moving right along.
It's Friday and the temperature is in in the 20s and I'm not in the mood to frolic all over downtown (mainly The Loop), but then again what else can I do?
I'll admit that my life has become a bit of routine that I'm so desperately trying to break out of. I'm still in my shell a bit and afraid to put myself out there to meet people. Don't get me wrong I've met some great ones since I've been here, but as a writer hell as a journalist I get my jobs through networking.
Alright enough sulking...I'll update later on the internship.
P.S.
Wilder in Real Life is going to be a little more transparent these days.
2.26.2010
2.12.2010
Don't Leave Me Alone with This CHICK!
Has there ever been a person you've tried to avoid, but there was no way you could escape him/her?
Well right now I'm having a problem with escaping...myself. I'm doing everything in my power to avoid alone time, quality time, or time out with "numero uno." I've found that in the real world you spend the majority of your time alone, at least in the beginning of adulthood. For a while I thought I was cool with kicking it solo, watching a movie, going to dinner, or a museum because I do it all the time.
There is this thing that a dear friend of mine likes to call "dating yourself." Hanging out is a small portion of this concept. The meat of it is figuring what you like and dislike, the type of person you are (honestly), expectations, and/or addressing issues.
And you know what? I'm so not in the mood to do this. It looks like the universe or whomever is conspiring for me to concentrate on my Personal Relationship. I know this because every time I've tried to set up some sort of outting, people flake, back out, changed their minds, or have other plans. I'm not suppose to be out and and about right now, at least not this weekend. If I'm out then it's suppose to be with myself.
ME: But really, do I have to do this right now?
DIVINE SPIRIT/GOD/UNIVERSE: Yes.
ME to MYSELF: Alright Wilder, we need to sit down and talk.
2.09.2010
Growing Pains of the Mind
So, I was taking the train this morning trying to come up with a plan B. Turns out it's my last resort plan. I've only been in Chicago for 6 months + and I'm already turning to the do or die. Right now at this very moment I'm not in the mood to go through any extended process if I don't have to (looks like I do though). Jobs don't work that way and life doesn't either.
It could be perhaps I have a ton of other things on my mind that I should probably address while trying to move forward. Nothing's worse than a brain concentrating on something else when you need it to work properly.
Anyway so the title of this entry "Growing Pains of the Mind" is about the things you go through that only exist in your head. You're sad, worried, anxious, confused, etc. How do you deal with these things? I'd love to be like some of my resilient friends and brush stuff off and keep moving. Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit and I am one of those people. My friends are not saying they don't think about problems/issues they've been through, they just don't dwell. I guess right now I have this desire to fast forward through the "struggling" part of my life and get to easy street or when things get better.
I'll take a step back and look at this.
Who says things will be later on? What I go forward too far and miss an opportunity? Well, I don't have the option to be frozen in a capsule or have access to the remote control for life. What I do have is time to do whatever and whenever. I'll kick myself later if I don't take advantage of it. Today I'm kicking myself for not being anywhere near to being stable.
So, I'm going to tell myself this, 'Self, get out of your head.'
It could be perhaps I have a ton of other things on my mind that I should probably address while trying to move forward. Nothing's worse than a brain concentrating on something else when you need it to work properly.
Anyway so the title of this entry "Growing Pains of the Mind" is about the things you go through that only exist in your head. You're sad, worried, anxious, confused, etc. How do you deal with these things? I'd love to be like some of my resilient friends and brush stuff off and keep moving. Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit and I am one of those people. My friends are not saying they don't think about problems/issues they've been through, they just don't dwell. I guess right now I have this desire to fast forward through the "struggling" part of my life and get to easy street or when things get better.
I'll take a step back and look at this.
Who says things will be later on? What I go forward too far and miss an opportunity? Well, I don't have the option to be frozen in a capsule or have access to the remote control for life. What I do have is time to do whatever and whenever. I'll kick myself later if I don't take advantage of it. Today I'm kicking myself for not being anywhere near to being stable.
So, I'm going to tell myself this, 'Self, get out of your head.'
